A while ago, I had a job I didn't much like. So in my spare time, I wrote. A lot. Now, I have a job I love so I haven't been writing (except at work, which, as I said, is fun). I'm still having fun at my new job, but I'm also writing more. Anyway, I'm not sure what this is. I wrote in on an airplane at night. Is it part of Ubiquity? Not sure. You tell me. Also, I promise I didn't purposely post here almost exactly one year after I stopped abruptly. It just sort of worked out that way. Brains are weird. Bye.

Dearest one,

My sincerest apologies for my sporadic correspondence of late. The constant trouble with the locals has sapped my time and worn me weary. As I write this, the Company's marines are taking up positions along the coastline, digging in for what I imagine will be another long and bloody fight.

As I predicted in my last letter, the government abandoned its efforts here this week, leaving us at the mercy of the population. The good news is we no longer have to share profits or property rights with them. The bad news is that we are woefully outnumbered. Despite our military force's superior training, discipline and firepower, there are very real fears among many here that we simply may be overrun.

I do not tell you this to frighten you. I do not wish to cause the mind I love so dearly to spin in circles of worry and fear. Rather, I write to ease your mind.

Yurgen and I visit a certain pub some nights which some of our more boisterous marines are known to frequent. Last night, when news of the latest troubles began to spread, we drank with a young man called Richard. He was barely 19 and was swilling rum like it was water on a hot day.

When he had drunk enough, Yurgen convinced the boy to sell us his sidearm, a Company-issue automatic. Yes, he probably caught hell from his sergeant the next morning, but the Company would have no trouble resupplying him. Being the regional vice-president of accounting, Yurgen should know.

So if you are watching the feeds this week my darling and you see that our project has been stormed and our workers slaughtered by those brutal animals that pass for a populous, know this: As they bear down on us with their wild hate, ready to tear at us, we will take as many of their wretched kind as we can before we turn the pulser on ourselves and go to our maker, untouched by their unclean hands as we yet draw breath.

I realize what I write seems cold comfort to you and that you would surely rather not think on the topic at all. I do not blame you. And as God is my witness, I assure you I pray each day and night that this thing does not come to pass, that the dark water I seem to tread soon drains away.

But if the worst happens and we are destroyed, you will begin to hear awful tales about what happened here, tales that will seem too fantastic and inhuman to be at all real. Will they be lies? Misinformation? Will what is not said chill your bones more than what is?

Because of what I have written here, you need not fear the worst - that the one you love suffered a prolonged torture in the presence of evil and had not even the sweetest clutch of time in which to think of you, his mind so rent by murderous action. Instead, know that I will slay my last beast, nod firmly to my closest friend, and shoot him dead.

In the grim moment after, I will close my bloodstained eyes, press my savior to my tired skull and conjure the sweetest image of your smiling face I can muster. And in that final clear moment, I will make my last journey with your bright light to guide me home.

I know my language must seem harsh to you. But in what may be our last communication, I feel the honest thrumming of my soul is the truest gift I can bestow you. If only I had not come here, I could give you the gift of a life's companionship, which is the very least of what you deserve.

I have to go now, my love. They are asking for me in the infirmary. As I look out my window, I see the Earth casting its beautiful glow in the sky above. That you are there and I am here is the message its swirling clouds seem to send.

If we do not speak again, know that I love you more then eternity can gather and that I will wait for you on the other side of things. Please keep me in your heart, a place more wonderful than this man has earned the right to occupy.

Goodbye my love.

-Doc

Posted by Ryan at 10:14 PM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted to Ubiquity

So busy. Busy, busy. Why so busy? I want a vacation. And a robot.

Posted by Ryan at 07:32 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink
Posted to General

Yesterday I suggested that the words supposedly written on the Virginina Tech killer's arm - Ismail Ax - may have been an anagram. Well, the Washintgon Post is reporting today that the actual spelling may have been Ismale Ax, which changes things a bit. I'm not sure if it's a spelling error on the Post's part or simply more refined reporting, but here we go again. Please add your suggestions if you have any:

Axe Islam
Lisa Ax Me
A Male Six
Meal Axis
Male Axis
Lame Axis
Alex Siam
Exam Lisa

Posted by Ryan at 01:24 PM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (1)
Posted to General

According to a few sources I've looked at today, including the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune, the suspected Virginia Tech shooter had the phrase 'Ismail Ax' written on his arm in red ink. There's been speculation about literary and biblical connections, but could it be an anagram?

Here's what I've come up with so far:

Alias Mix
Mail Axis
Axis Mail
Islam Ax I
Lima Axis
Axis Lima

Anyone else? This story just keeps getting creepier and creepier. As I wrote this entry I came across an example of what could be Cho Seung-Hui's creative writing at The Smoking Gun. It's scary and completely off the reservation.

Posted by Ryan at 03:35 PM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (2)
Posted to General

I'm playing through Resident Evil 2 again on the Playstation. Why? because I'm a glutton for punishment, especially at the decaying hands of roaming zombies. Something about logging thousands of hours of playing time on my Xbox 360 has sent me back two generations. So I bought a PS1 for $29.99 this weekend and a copy of RE2 for $6. A friend is sending me a copy of Final Fantasy Tactics, one of the finest pieces of electronic entertainment ever produced.

Continue reading "Wait. I'm a human. Whoa. Sorry about that." »

Posted by Ryan at 10:27 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink
Posted to Trigger Happy

Current playlist:

• Morningwood, Morningwood
• Pinback, Arrive Having Eaten
• William Gibson, Burning Chrome audiobook
• TV on the Radio, Young Liars
• El-P, I'll Sleep When You're Dead
• Modest Mouse, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
• 1-UP Yours podcast, 1-UP staff

Posted by Ryan at 09:37 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (1)
Posted to Meme-o-rama

As was pointed out to me so eloquently by my Evil Sister this morning, I seem to have lost my blogging mojo as of late. Well screw that. I'm back, and don't any of y'all hesitate to recognize such.

I didn't report it in this space due to PTSD and other mitigating factors, but my Xbox 360 went down in flames a couple weeks ago - I had to send it back to Redmond for repairs. It was a dark, dark time. I felt like the cavemen must have felt when the metors and whatnot descended from the skies and killed their slower, more vulnerable subspecies. I don't even know what that means. See?

Anyway, it's back and I'm rebuilding my Gears chops, like some wounded war vet learning to walk again. And yes, it is exactly the same. And yes, I know freedom isn't free. Neither, apparently, are oil, empirical power and forced democratization.

See what I did there?

Update: One of you pointed out that Microsoft's repair facilities are not in Redmond, Wash. Thanks Professor Knows-a-Lot. You are indeed correct - their repair group is in Texas, which is where I sent my machine to have the optical drive fixed. I was using "Redmond" much like a political writer might use the word "Washington" to describe goings-on in government when, in fact, the particular activity he's referring to might actually be happening in Arlington, Va. And yes, I realize that Washington D.C. and Arlington are much closer to one another geographically than, say, Washington State and Texas. But you people begged, nay, clambored for my return, so don't go biting the hands with the feeding.

Posted by Ryan at 04:26 PM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (3)
Posted to General

I haven't written anything on my blog since Zora's Domain froze over. So, from NPR news in Oregon, I'm Lakshmi Singh. Here's what's been going on:

- Still, I work.
- Spring has arrived, and sometimes I see light in the sky instead of soggy gray clouds
- Shadowstepper, my character in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, has become a vampire. I know, right?
- I've finished watching Battlestar Gallactica through season 2.5 (whatever that means) and am moving on to Firefly.
- My experiment eating Turkish-style breakfasts was a marginal success, but now I'm back where I started.
- My cats are now banned from the bedroom.
- Rarely am I the last-place player at the end of Gears of War rounds. It's something.
- I don't take my lunch to work as often as I should.
- I have a new betta fish, thanks to Wife of the Year. His name is Count Dracula and I keep him at my desk at work. I'll take a picture sometime, I promise.
- Netflix is my friend.
- Finally, after almost 2 years, the thrill of getting email on my phone has worn off slightly.
- I rarely agree with Tyra Banks
- It's been way too long since I fired my takedown recurve bow in anger.
- The other night, I dreamed I was a grenadier at Agincourt. It was awesome.

Posted by Ryan at 07:26 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (1)
Posted to General

Yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out. Now I have holes in my mouth. The dentist asked me if I wanted to keep my teeth. I told him no. I can't eat granulated foods for a while. It's hard to eat pasta just using just your tounge and the roof of your mouth. Why do they call them wisdom teeth? If they really brought me that much wisdom when they came in, I would have gotten them out 10 years ago. My dentist has a tooth-shaped bike rack outside his office. My insurance company will pay him $300 for half an hour's work. It was worth it. It didn't hurt. It was oddly satisfying, like when I was a kid and I spent weeks working a tooth loose. It gave a crunch, then it was out. I'm still bleeding. My pain pills are the size of Sharpie caps. I know it seems like it, but I'm not on them as I write this. I have the day off.

Posted by Ryan at 08:42 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (2)
Posted to General

Gamera:

Best,
Matty
- Houston, Tex.

Dear Matty,

Matty is interesting name. Gamera not sure if that girl's or boy's name. He not remember how Cybil Shepard's character on Moonlighting spell it.

Gamera considering trying out for American Idol in 2008, but Simon Cowell's production company not yet disclose whether it plan to come to the Azores. If given opportunity, Gamera most likely sing "Careless Whisper" by George Michael. It in his vocal range, and one of Paula's favorite songs.

But it recommended that contestants sing three songs for audition so judges able to get sense of depth. So Gamera also probably also sing "Hips Don't Lie" by sexy Latina Shakira and "Church Steeples Hurt When You Step on Them," which is original song by Gamera.

-G

Posted by Ryan at 09:10 AM | Digg this entry | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink | Comments (5)
Posted to Ask Gamera